This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
