Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
