The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
