I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
