Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
