I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
