got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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