So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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