I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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