"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
