I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
