He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
