She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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