I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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