One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
