I feel great
I just peed on a car
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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