he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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