you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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