You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Less talking, more tequila
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
