Banned from zoo.
Again?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
there is glitter all over my balls
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