R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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