ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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