She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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