69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
