i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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