If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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