Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I supernannyed him into submission
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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