I'm lost and stupid without you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
