I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
