he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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