Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
