is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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