The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
