I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
