She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
