I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
