Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
