When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
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You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
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