Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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