Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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