Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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