hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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