Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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