NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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