I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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