; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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