I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
