he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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