Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
