non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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