8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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