She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize