love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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