pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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