I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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