With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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