who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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