I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
