Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
