My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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