New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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