just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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